Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My God, My God, Why Am I Avoiding You?

I'm not a total slacker, He and I talk everyday, but I am lacking in the following department. Kind of like how I've avoided exercising this week, even though I tell myself I need to and want to, but I make excuses. "oh I have to do this and that; Wow, where did the day go?" And I know that's not how it should be. I need to be more disciplined with my walk and relationship with God, and that should be first. I have weeded out my habits of reading, even for pleasure simply because "I'm Busy."

Even now I could be reading/studying/having one-on-one time...or riding the bike.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Job-less and Not Looking

I really thought my life would be a whole lot different than it currently is. I'm a 26 years old, unmarried female with no kids. When I was eighteen I thought I was set, two years later that changed, just grew different directions, for the better for obvious reasons. There were others that seemed to fit the bill, just a bit of fine tuning was needed, but never addressed. I know God has a plan for me, because I have detoured so many times and returned to a recognizable path. That path is usually filled with Single-ness, which just gives me more time to focus on my walk and family stuff, which is great, but I'm totally going through the whole Maternal Clock phase, which makes me just feel selfish and materialistic.

I really don't like this point in my life. I have no job and don't really care to have one at the moment. Maybe because I dreamed of being in my child raising years now, but I have responsibilities and being unemployed doesn't help me be responsible. I really just want to be a bum or house wife, which ever one come first.

I am grateful for the fact that I am surrounded by love ones and have been busy with my California family ever since I returned home. And usually there is a "but" right now, I'm trying to change my ways...

Friday, July 9, 2010

Is it worth it...

Blogging... Someone asked me tonight if I was blogging at the moment, which I was not, but made me realize that I haven't been on here in a long time. Which also caused me to realize that if I'm not using it, should I lose it?

I have people in my outer circle that blog just about everyday, and I enjoy reading most of their entries, but for the most part I just skim. Don't get me wrong, the internet is very addicting, and I lose a lot of time just reading or talking to people... I really need to do something else with my time.

But is this blog worth keeping?