Reading? Who does that?

Yes I should be reading "Reservation Blues," which is a really nice short novel, but I started reading it at 11am today, and just fell completely asleep for four hours after finishing the first chapter. I really have to read it since my paper is due in two days, and I'm planning on printing tomorrow all day. It's my fault and no one else as to why I didn't start working on it sooner.

I'm thankful that this week is finally over. But next week is gonna be just as busy. I have another crit due Wednesday for Intaglio, but I'm not done preparing my first plate. Thank God it's a two plate job. I also have to start my bangle, but I have to use textures, and set a stone. I got a really nice Tiger Eye from my friend, but don't want to use it on my bangle. I might have to go gem shopping this weekend, after I figure out what I'm doing...

I still haven't gotten my paper situation settled. They called me back finally, but I was unavailable when they did, and didn't have time to call them until today. I really hope that I don't get forgotten. But the bigger issue, is the three to four people that still owe me at least thirty bucks each, if not more. Whatever, I'm holding the paper hostage until they do pay me. That way Dave doesn't have to get in the middle of it, and their grade isn't effected, or the lack of one.

Please pray that I can focus and get the thing set before me done, and not in a rush. I haven't been lazy, except with my online, cause it kinda doesn't exist in my head, just not focusing enough to complete them in a timely fashion. I do them, but not to their fullest!

Important Message from the Rhoades Family

Have you seen this person?
He has been missing for quite some time...

Name: Samuel

Age: 21
Race: Caucasian
Missing Since: August 2007

Also known as:
Ugly
Chump
Jerk
Snot
Sam
Manuel
Monkey
Uncle Monkey

If seen, do NOT approach, as he is very skiddish, and may run.
Do NOT corner him, he can become violent if he feels threatened.
Instead call a family member to inform us of his current location.
Or try and bribe him into your car with a trail of candy or popcorn.

We miss Samuel very much and wish he
would come home and back to church.

We just want him to know his family
misses him and loves him very much.

Thank you for reading this announcement.
We hope you will be able to help us.

15 HOT wings later...

Yes, I ate fifteen hot wings from Buffalo Wild Wings, and they were DELICIOUS Mr. Joseph Gray! Am I hurting, no, they weren't Blazin' which should be called something else in reality.

I really got annoyed today, to the point that I felt guilty for being rude to my friend. But he's been getting on my nerves, and today was the wrong day to poke fun at me. Cause when 11 other people as you the same question, even right after I answer it, it can get pretty frustrating. And when the same 11 people try to tell you that your image for another class looks amazing, it shows they no very little about what you're trying accomplish. Even when your own instructor tells you: "it's ok, it's your first one." Yes, I'm just trying to learn the technique and then decide which to master for my show and life in general, but it's hard when I don't get complete crits from my peers. It's hard to just say "thank you", smile and move on...especially when you only have three weeks to work on four plates. I really need at least 6 weeks to get even close to what I want in my imagery...Maybe I just need to work faster, and not be too precise about it, but I also don't want to just do it to get it done.

I think I just need to get away from people for awhile, especially those that act as if whatever they hear or say is the absolute TRUTH, even when told by the original horse's mouth that they are wrong! I guess I'm just sick of those that are just trying to slip by, and fit into something that they have no understand of. Don't get me wrong, I love giving information, if I know it to be true. Yes, I'm human, and have been wrong a few times, but don't constantly give out the wrong information, and love being corrected. I guess I just wish more people understood what I'm doing...

Here's some information about Printmaking. Images are always signed in pencil, never ink or other mediums, since pencil is acid free and won't hurt the paper in which it is printed on. Also, this allows the image to remain the focus, and not draw away the viewer to the title, edition number, and artist's John Hancock. And it is always listed in that order, L-R: Title (if there is one), edition number(ei 4/30), and Signature. I should post some of my images, but I feel like only a hand full are worthy of being posted...

Am I just a robot?

I swear I should be color blind, at least I can see better in the dark. I hate color! I remembering glazing my pots back at Cerritos, and I loved it cause I did simple glazes and slips, all cone 10. But I came NAU, and actually started taking real art classes...Found charcoal, pencil, and other mediums that just allow one to do a "black and white" image. So now that I'm taking a color intaglio class, and I can't get any of it right. My plates(we use zinc plates) are horrible. I'm so upset with myself. I didn't think this one through enough or just need to approach my next one in a completely different way...just pray I get it right soon.

So I love facial hair. Not burly, untamed, messes, but what ever fits your face. So when I comment to some one that they look better with the goatee they were in the process of growing, they shave it off? I wasn't trying to be rude, just saying that it improved on your current appearances. I admit that I am also guilty of not taking a complement. I look good, and yes have days where I look even more amazing, but don't like the direct attention....Any way, I love country boys with their wranglers, boot, and hats...and of course the facial hair.

I'm a MOVIE STAR!

Ok, I did most of the filming, but that's cause Jason was driving. Let's just hope that the 40 minutes of filming I did is enough for his one minute movie.

So I woke up yesterday morning exhausted, but on a mission. A mission of getting my Lithography edition done, which surprisingly, only took 3 hours to do by myself. So I printed sixteen images, and I'm hoping Tuesday to print my other edition so I can move forward in my learnings. Let's just hope that Intaglio goes as smoothly, seeing that it's due Wednesday.

Why do I travel so much? I mean, I've made two road trip this weekend, and debating on making another come Thursday. Whatever, I got INO twice, saw and awesome movie, and got lost in Northern Arizona with two of my favorite people from Flagstaff.

So what is one suppose to get for a five year old girl? Suggestions?

I only used the Newsprint...

At least they got to use the good paper. I spent over 6 hours in the studio today, and what did I get done...NOTHING! Lithography is THE hardest of all the printing techniques, and the only one I can't do apparently! I washed out my image, rolled it up, rolled it up some more, proofed it, rolled it up again, proofed....and it got dark on me. So I got to wash it out again, ink drop etch it, and have to wait until tomorrow to try to print by myself. Sorry about the terms for those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm just really pissed at myself, cause it probably wouldn't have happened if I had checked the ink. I think it was too loose, and my stone got really dark too fast. Tomorrow = Stiffer

I'm so behind in my studios, it's not funny. Why did I have to have all three crits within the same week! My intaglio (which is color, and takes forever) plates I haven't even tried proofing, and my jewelry project is a long was away from being done. I just hope that I'm more focused this weekend, and able to produce some amazing things. At least I could do two litho print tomorrow, and they would be done...

I'm getting more and more homesick, mostly cause I talked to someone, and they started talking about food. Yes, I'm a fat kid, and love food a bit too much. To the point that I make it a priority to go eat at certain restaurants while I am in the LBC. I'm not just talking about INO, or little places like that, just the good ol' comfort foods that aren't out here in Arizona. Of course I have the hit my favorite place, but that's if she has time to cook for me.

For the first time in a long time, I haven't had to work a Friday night event this whole month. I feel like I've kinda wasted it, seeing how I've remained in this little wonder that so many call Flag. I need a change, not a total change, just a mini vacation (which if you guys from CALIFORNIA, would come visit, it would be a va-ca for the both of us!). Not trying to call anybody out...MELANIE(bring Ms. Insults) and NOELLE.

Any one want to write my paper for me??? PLEASE I HATE HUMANS! i mean Humanities!

WHY!

So I ordered 316 sheets of BFK Rives paper last Thursday, from a company based out of North Carolina. Here is it Wednesday, and they still haven't shipped it. I have an edition due on Tuesday, which means it has to be printed the day before so that the inks are dry. Why such a large order just for me? Only a hundred of those sheets are for my personal use, the rest belongs to eleven other people, who also have editions due next Tuesday. Well I called, and the according to the nice southern man on the line, the warehouse had it in stock, and was unsure of the reason as to why it was not shipped. So I have to wait another five days. Now I have to spend another 20 bucks to just print my edition, since the bookstore charges 3.85 a sheet, which is a ripe off, when all the paper companies in the US only charge at the most 2.90 a sheet, and give free ground when you order 100 sheets. I feel so riped off, by both companies. That's that last time I order with Art Supply Warehouse...unless they really make it up to me.

I'm not dead yet

So I finally go to the Health Center on Campus, find out that I weigh a ton (ok only 166lbs), and that my heart rate is at 97 b/m. The had me blow in to a device to check the strength of my expiration. Finally the NP comes in, very delightful lady, and gets down to it. "Let's hope it's not a blood clot, cause that is a possibility." Thanks Lady! Since last Thursday, I've been having chest pains on the left side of my sternum(breastbone), close to my heart and rib cage. They are very mild pains, that can last as long as 15 minutes, and never in the same spot. Anyway, go through some tests, she pushes on my ribs, and then finally listens to my heart and lungs. "If I could get you to lift your shirt up, I'm sure they won't see your boobies." Who says boobies on a professional level? I mean I don't even say boobies, that's like a high school or younger word. So what is her diagnoses: That the "joint" between my ribs and sternum is inflamed, so I get to take three ibuprofen three times a day. Hey at least I have a high pain tolerance, and didn't need a shot like so many others that have come in before me. She said it would take about a week or two for it to go away, and apologized for thinking the worst.

With finding out my current weight, I'm somewhat excited. Here I've been thinking about working out since school started, so that I would look good for Halloween. Since being home last I have almost dropped ten pounds, so who needs to exercise? Not me! hahaha ok I do, but not for the benefits that those around me are seeking. I'm trying my best to get motivated to compete in road races, but I've had no luck in keeping myself on the fast track to success. Any suggestions?

Still High!

Way to end my night! Amazing show! Last night was the Comedy Central Tour, and Zach Galifianakis closed with an spectacular performance. So what did I do? I first ate what was left the the vegetable plater, and then went to Uptown. Kinda bummed that I didn't get to talk to him first hand, though I easily could have. Had a few drinks, talked with two of my closed friends, enjoyed the Knockabouts playing amazing music, and then headed home...But Wait! Who do I see out of the corner of my eye, leaning against the wall with his head phone and back pack on? No it wasn't a homeless person, as both my colleges thought. IT WAS ZACH! "Hey, It's Zach Galifiankis." At first I didn't think he heard me, so we decide to just keep walking towards that car. But at last, he turns, removes his head phones and greets us. "Hey Guys, Sorry, just blasting some Stevie Wonder." I shook his hand, and immediately began to giggle like a school girl. "So Flagstaff is pretty much closed right now, right?" I informed him of his mistake and directed him to Charly's, and continued our way to the car. I'm still in Amazement, and as Gabe puts it, I'm having a girly moment. We should have gone with him, but just speaking those few sentences was just...WOW!

She's a Dancin' Machine

For the past two nights I've been at Collin's sweating my butt off to horrible music, and tonight I'm doing it again! I've had such a great time both nights, minus the creeps dancing around us last night. I'm sorry just cause you dance with your fist up in the air, doesn't mean you have the right to hit the person directly in front of you, REPEATEDLY! And just cause you're feeling like you're amazing, doesn't mean that you are. Because usually that means you're slamming into people and not apologizing for that damage. Oh well, I took the risk.

No he's not!

Some of you have seen me wear this shirt a many a times, and it's just about my favorite tee at the moment (next to my "Batman Says"). But my brother Paul tells me every time he sees me wearing it, "Optimus isn't gay!" As a kid, I loved Rainbows, seriously! I had a shirt I made with like puffy paint that was a big giant rainbow. So why now does it have to mean I'm Gay? Talking with a friend of mine Saturday, briefly about Paul's comment. "If I was Rainbow Bright, that's gay." He even listed Care Bears, which I never would think they were. Whatever, I wouldn't trade the tv shows I grew up with for anything...except a cowboy.

Corrections

Sorry for the confusion with my last post. I have no desire of quiting school, I really want to finish, and actually get my Master's. I've come too far, spent too much money (that of my own and parent's), and enjoy what I'm doing now too much to stop.

I've never considered myself a black sheep of the family. Different yes, but never an outcast. Yes, I have told my Father that I feel like I don't fit back home, but I have changed at bit, and don't feel (or at least at that moment) the desire to plant my feet back in the Long Beach soil. Now, I'm still not sure, but I wouldn't say it wasn't an option anymore. God created each and everyone of us to do something different for Him, the only thing similar is our Salvation through Christ, and devoting ourselves to His service PERIOD!

I know my family is there for me, no matter what. A few years ago, I felt so lonely, but I went to counseling, and have matured a lot. Though I maybe alone physically(which is still bending the truth), I know that I'm really not, because of them and God.

It's kinda funny how my Brother bought up the Missionary thing, cause I have thought about it, but it was a year ago, and my priorities are school right now...maybe another degree in Theology from Liberty later...But that's in His hands, and hopefully I allow myself to see which way He's pushing me.

So though I say I'm lonely, it's the kinda of lonely that wishes for physical contact, rather than that of just phone calls, texts (which thanks to Mel, I have unlimited), IM, and myspace comments. I miss everyone, even those up here in Flagstaff, or even throughout Arizona. I love and care for each and every person in my life, and always will, that's just how God created me.

And yes Paul, I got your joke. It made me laugh, and I'm still smiling about it. I put it as one of my quotes on Facebook. You're an amazing older Brother.

I need a break already, or at least the semester to be over. I really just want to have a no class semester, which I'm pretty close to having one with the schedule I currently have. But I have this desire to go on adventures, to seek other places, and enjoy their splendors...

Tired of it...

Hanging out with friends is the time that I feel top of the world, until I get a phone call. My lovely roommate called me as I was star gazing with a friend. For what you ask? To inform me that my Bible I left on my bed after doing devotions this morning, has become Samson's new chew toy. I wanted to cry. First of all, how did he get in my room? Janice and I agreed that he doesn't belong in there over a month ago, and yet some how, while we both were out, he got into my room and chew my only version on hand of God's Word. I'm sick of him chewing on everything! On me, the house (yes I'm serious about the house), and my dog. He destroys things, and this is something that really can't be replaced. My parents gave this Bible when I transferred to NAU. My Mom personally marked scriptures in it, and now it's missing pages. I know it's just a thing, and I shouldn't be that upset about it, but that was something special to me, and now it's ruined. I guess I really didn't need to read parts of it, since I'm now faced with the lack of Truth.

I haven't talked to his owner yet, seeing how she's never home. I don't know what to do. Do I have her replace it? Or will she even care? How do I even approach her about it? This is when I wish I had someone around to just give me awesome advise, but he went home yesterday, and it's too late to be calling and waking him up. I guess my day was bad as well...

Walking slowly...But still walking

Today was pretty much as wasted day. Dwelling on the thought of seeing someone, and actually getting to talk to them, which I'm unsure of it even happening. So decided to work on something I've been neglecting since school started. Reading my Bible.

I have Holman's Christian Bible standard, and I love how it reads. It's actually sponsored by the Southern Baptist Convention, and is a easier to understand than the New King James and NIV versions out there. I grew up using King James up until my Mom gave me this one back when I moved out to Arizona. In the back of it, it has a section of "Where to Turn" questions. Such as, when you are lonely, feeling shame, sick, and even when it comes to God's purpose for you. It give you scripture to turn to. So I turned to Psalms 107, in relation to "when you are anxious for those you love." I didn't even get to the second verse. "Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever." I began to tear up, mostly because lately I've been feeling no one loves me, but here I've been selfish and blind. I tell myself and others that He is the only one that I can truly depend on for anything and everything, and I haven't been praising Him or even giving Him a thought in my daily tasks. I just need to allow myself to let go of this world, and prepare more for the next; and hopefully bring a few people with me.

"Did you eat today?" is now a sticky note on my keyboard, to remind me to endeavor in the food of God's Word. One cannot go hungry on His word, unless they refuse to eat. I'm done refusing, and making excuses not to sit down and enjoy this bounty.

So I've decided to take the route of getting my Master's in Fine Arts. Yes, it's more school, but it's an opportunity I feel driven towards. So where am I looking? So far, CSULB and CSUN, mostly cause I would like to move back home for a bit, and they both have great MFA programs. But I've also, for a long time, been looking into Portland State and Oregon. I'll pretty much go where ever the will give me an Internship, so that I don't have to pay as much tuition. After that, getting a job should be cake, since I'm a rare commodity.

For those you back home, I miss you all, and doing my best to be back sooner than Thanksgiving. Why? Cause I can!

I spoke too soon! I really, really need new people in my life. Why do I put my faith in people that are just gonna flake on me anyway? Tough break for them, I'm a good person to have as a friend.

So I've sat here, thinking of what to write...I grow tired of the moments of boredom, but what am I to do? It's not like I haven't tired to keep busy. Spent over 5 hours in class today, just printing my gradients of color for intaglio, and even worked on one of my litho stones. Then spent another 2.5 hours in the jewelry lab working on my first piece. I just don't know anymore. And with the thought of Grad School constantly being placed in my mind, just ads more to the confusion I've placed myself.

I guess looking at country boys will help...Later ya'll!

I should be doing my online lecture, or at least reading it so I can do the discussion, but since I forgot about it until now, I really don't feel the desire to do so. I think I'm one of the few people that would rather have traditional classroom settings rather those of distant learning. Online allows me to forget and act as if I don't have any class. It's not a priority to do the readings and such.

I loved being home these past few days, even though I hung out with Paul and Melanie most of the time. But we always had a great time, minus the horrible ribs at Knott's. I can hardly wait to go back, which won't be until November, unless they head this way.

So I'm back to the grind stone, or at least I have two. I've started two images in my litho class, and I'm excited for both of the finish products, even though I've already decided I've messed up on one of them. Hopefully I will get them printed some time soon, but remember I'm taking two printmaking classes. Yay ME!

Gabe and I went to dinner tonight, and it always seems to lead to the fact that I don't consider myself a typical art student. I'm conservative for one, and I shower daily. I just feel like I don't belong, which I may or may not. But it brings me to another point...I'm not sure what I'm going to do for my capstone, or even what is all involved with that. Gabe assured me that I will be fine, and that I'm being pre-mature since I shouldn't worry about it until the Spring. I just hope God helps me with my confidence...

Waste of the day...

But not completely. I really like doing random searches on Google. I came across this artist, Nelson Boren, who does amazing watercolors. A native Arizonian, he portrays scenes from the life of the cowboy, from the waist down in most cases. It's amazing how he works with this medium. The realism, choice of colors, and softness to each. I was just blown away...the only thing I find confusing is that his listed work says they are in editions, which to me means prints. And edition is, in the fine arts aspect, how many identical images were created. So if I printed 15 images of a flower, and only four look identical, I would label that there were only four total in the edition on each print. It's easier to show than actually explain in writing. But none the less his work is very breath taking. I hope someone, one day, will feel the same about mine.

Sleep Hard

That's what I did tonight. Paul, Melanie, and I, the three musketeers it seems, went and saw Die Hard 4, which I just fell asleep during the whole movie. Waking up during random parts, including when one of the movie patrons decided to yell at a group of kids. Eh, I paid like two dollars, so I'm not worried. Just worried about that strange quarter boy, who seriously was trying to steal my money as he ran around the theater, saying, "he died" over a kagillion times.

Today was a long day anyway. Got up to cut watermelon for the picnic(pictures seen here) we were having a church, got dressed, and drove by myself to Westminster. Just as I'm passing my rival high school, my phone rings...it's my sister, and she finally popped about 1130am EST. So I have a new Monkey/Niece. I've known her name since like May, and it's still kinda hard to get used to it. She's a big girl, but not as big as I was, but I'm sure she's gonna be just as amazing as me one day. The only sad thing is that I won't get to see her until March, since flying for a family of four (two being under the age of four), is very expensive when it's from coast to coast. I'm sure I'll get pictures soon enough. I just hope my sister is getting the rest she needs and that my brother is taking good care of her.

With the birth of Leyna, I've realized something. Today as well was Samuel's birthday, and he's officially three. I'm such a bad Auntie, and didn't call him. I'll do it tomorrow, and then hit Bo up as I head back East on Tuesday...But back to my realization. I now have four family members that share the same birthdays. My Mom and first niece (Kirstyn) share the eleventh of January, now Samuel and Leyna share the second of September...I really, really need to have kids in May. I wonder if I'll ever share a birthday with family, even though I think it's pretty awesome that I have the same birthday as Edgar Allen Poe...Pretty SWEET!

Tomorrow is my last day in Long Beach, I'm gonna miss it...

Ow! My Babies!

I think I said that twice this afternoon. It's been awhile since I've been to a theme park, and it's been ages since I've been to Knott's. It's totally not what I remember, but a lot changes in nine years. Some rides I used to love are now gone, but replaced with short versions of greatness, or at least that's how I felt about Sierra Sidewinder. Ghost Rider made my head and ovaries hurt...ok not my ovaries, but did throw me around quite a bit. I don't even remember being able to see clearly on the whole ride. But I enjoyed myself none the less, and mostly enjoyed the people I shared those insane observations.

My days here are almost over, and I really wish it was June again. My summer is gone, and it's taken me this long to realize it...

Education is important, right? I should know, mostly because I have stuck with higher learning for the past five years, can changing my major just a few times. But is there more? Well yeah. I could get my MFA, and pretty much be guaranteed a job since people in my field of interest is so rare. Most Printmaking instructors are really Painters trying to pass themselves off as us wonderful people. I am proud of what I'm doing with my art, or at least the medium I'm in, but is that enough to do another two years of Master's work? I would only go to a school that let me have a paid internship, which most do. It just seems to be pressed against my face, like a child does on a window for our amusement.

Retah, actually brought up the fact that I'm about two classes away from having my BFA in Ceramics, so I should double or minor. That means I would have to do two Senior Capstone/Exhibitions, so more work. And the Ceramics Department has never really been supportive of me, since day one. So why get two degrees? According to her, I can't just depend on Printmaking, since demand changes, and it would benefit me to have a back up. She also stated that if I have two emphasis, I might be a better candidate for a teaching position. I really doubt that the demand for Printmaking Instructors is going to change, since most people consider painting and sculpture the "fine arts."

Well I should go to bed, and Melanie, if you're reading this, you should too! Sorry to call you out, but I had to. We have to be rested for tomorrow: ultimate frisbee and soccer, and all the Baptist food we can eat!

You too Jourdan!

What a dream!

So WEIRD! I had not had a dream like that in months, especially with that person playing one of the lead roles. But why now? I have not seen him since May, and I have not talked to him for three weeks now. It was really crazy, and I mean CRAZY! But why is he on my mind now, or stuck in my head. Yes, I still think of him from time to time, which it's hard not to, even though he's hurt me somewhat. And I don't understand the dream, or if there is even meaning to it.

Why is everything a push-up? Yes, I'm talking about my fluffy pillows as Nicole put it last night, or at least the things used to give some type of support. I already have more than enough "fluffiness," so why shove them up into my face? And why do they have to be so EXPENSIVE!?! This is when I wish I was the same size I was my sophomore year of high school...Those where the days!

Well if you haven't guessed yet, I've made it safely to the land of the Dome that used to harbor the Spruce Goose, and the docked Queen Mary. I didn't realize that I was even home until I was driving on the 210, somewhere around Claremont. I'm glad I made the decision to come, especially after visiting with my sister and nephews. It was nice to pretend to walk to the school bus. And Swim Friday was a blast, though there was a code brown and the little kids like to hit me in the head for some reason. I miss

I finally went shopping for real clothes, thanks to Melanie. We spent five hours in the mall! I can't think of any time that I have spent more than two. But at least I left with a nice winter coat, slacks and a couple of really nice tops. Now I need shoes, and skirts. Working hard on being breathtaking!