Sort of Know Where I'm Headed

But not sure how I'm getting there yet. I've been too busy to look for Jobs in Flagstaff, and it seems I won't be slowing down until after the 5th, but that will only be for a week! But at least the semester is over.

I was suppose to register for classes on the 24th, but I'm unsure of weather or not I should. If I got at least half time, I can defer my loans, which would be awesome! But what if I get a job, in another state, and need to move? I sort of have a love hate relationship with the fact my life changes every three months or so. Probably why I hate planning so far ahead.

So Jason and I went to dinner with a mutual friend last night. I know she has struggled with understanding God and Salvation, which lately I have been feeling really conflicted to talk to people. I know the Holy Spirit is working in me. Well she told me she was going to get baptized soon, which I'm proud of her for wanting to do this. But there is always more to any story. I asked her why she felt she needed to get baptized, which I shared with her how I was saved at age 12, felt there was no reason to stand up in front of a huge church as I'm dunked in some pool, but when I was 21 I felt convicted that it was the next step in my life as a Christian. Her response as to why worries me, because no where in scripture does it say what she expressed. It does not wash your sins away, or your original sin as she thinks. Nor does it get you a pass into heaven as her somewhat future husband thinks and is sort of pushing it on her. I simply stated that I believe that it is a public profession of my Faith in Christ and that I will be leading my life as a Child of God. She doesn't want it to be public, which I understand, I don't like attention either. Jason and I talked about in the car as we drove back to his Dad's, and he said I did well in how I present my side. "You said 'I believe' not, 'Actually, the Bible says' or something of that manner that basically is telling them they are wrong, game over." For the past few years, I have noticed that about myself, I simply state, I believe. Not My denomination, or my religion, or my family believes, but that I truly believe. I guess that makes it more a of personal thing in the eyes of a non-believer, or those struggling with their beliefs. Another thing to add to my prayer request...

I have also realized recently, that no matter what, no one can change my faith. I feel pretty strong in that, even though I really can't quote scripture or other stereotypes that the world deems on Christians, and I feel that's because my faith/believes are that of my personal experiences and journey. I've been telling people, who try to challenge my faith "you won't change my mind, sorry." I know that it sounds boastful, but I'm proud of the fact that I don't question my faith in God/Christ. The only way I have been able to get to this point is through them, which also has allowed me to stand up for Christ in a lost world.

I leave tomorrow afternoon to head back to California... I'm not looking forward to that drive at all!

Going Back, God Willing

I went to Flagstaff a few weeks ago to visit for homecoming and a long over due visit with family and friends there. Within the few hours I was there, I was sold. I am in the process of finding a job (without internet at the moment) up there so I can move back. I have been offered two potential jobs, but one I would be required to be a student once again, well take one credit. The other one I'm not sure about right now, but time will tell.

I went to Church while there, three times actually. Wednesday for dinner and helped set up for Trunk N Treat, church Sunday morning and back Sunday night for the event. I miss the feel of a church family. The Pastor and his wife were telling me how the children's ministry is growing and that they would need a teacher, paused and smiled at me. Haha! Well we will see what God does.

Jason and I got to hang out while we both were there. We talked a lot about the failure of our relationship and Jason put a lot of blame on himself. "I wasn't the Man you needed me to be." Which is mostly right, but we are talking and actually on the phone everyday and texting throughout the day. I can't help but have deep feeling for him because they were there before, but he is different. He too had the same sensation I did once getting back to Flag, so he's trying to move back as well.

So I haven't had Internet at home for about 4 weeks now, which sucks because my phone is limited as to was I can do. But if it is God's will it will happen.