It's days like these that I need to print.
I went to bed hours ago, four to be exact, but didn't sleep a wink. I've been crazy all day it seems. Not, I've lost my mind, or I don't I have crossed that line. But simply having anxiety for the last 10 hours of my day. I tried blaming the coffee, the one cup I maybe have a day, but today that wasn't the true case of my funky day.
Phoenix is hot, monochromatic and (your pick). I was not my first choice, or my choice at all, in terms of a place to live. No, don't think I just settled because I got married. I have a purpose here, a God-given purpose, just not sure what that purpose entails exactly. So I'm praying, but mostly dealing with the situation in front of me. It could be worse. I could be homeless, rather than jobless. I could be addicted to drugs or a high school drop out, rather than educated and on the up and up. So why am I unemployable or at least feel that way?
I have a bachelor's, which now a days gets you what? Just above Hobo status, maybe. Depends on the amount of digging or fishing for scrap metal or "treasures." Get a second degree or a master's? Is that what I heard, my dear reader? A master's in my "emphasis" leaves me in the same condition, just more debt and more of a troubling mind. A master's in another area, then? That's a great question, do you have the answer as well? Don't get me wrong. I would not trade my exchange my "trade" for another career path. I am happy with my choice, and made my decision long ago, realizing it was not going to be easy after graduation.
My employment history is... how do you say? Interesting. Out of the few employment endeavor, none are really similar to one another. Nor does my resume (or cover letter) show what I am really made of. So meet with a manager, ok. Do a follow up phone call, ok. In the last two years I have had a total of two actual face-to-face interviews. If you count the skype interview, that's totaling to three. So why do I feel so discouraged? It's all good, right?
Interviewing, that's a joke. I interview so badly, and I have tried to practice with different people or in different ways and nothing! Most of my previous jobs I had a little network help. Either I knew someone personally or was somewhat related. Sucks for me now, cause I had it easy for the most part. "just be yourself" Have we met? I'm sort of a dork, a funny (to myself) kind of person. Not average at all.
But I am grateful that I do have faith in God. Without Him, I think I would be pretty darn worthless at this point. I'm in a pit, a deep one, but know that tomorrow is another day, and that God's Plans for me are coming. Just wished He would let me in on some of it, but it's all on His terms.
I'm also very grateful for the fact He gave me Jason. Without Jason, my faith wouldn't be what it is, or at least that's how I feel. We both have a hard time letting God handle things, but time and time again we give God the credit He deserves. Without God, we would have drowned in Austin, but our heads were always above water. Without God, we both would be two very different people and probably would not have known the love we have for one another.
I appologize for my blog post. I guess I just needed to get my frustrations out of my head and off my heart. I have applied to at least 20 jobs in the last three days, two of which says the hold process will take 8 weeks, at least. I really just need a job now, anything legal. I can't dance, I'm a Baptist. (tacky I know) So those of you who could, please pray for others like myself that need employment. There are two jobs that are really weighing in on my heart that I came across through our church's website, and I have just been praying that one of these is what God has instored for Jason and I.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Tied the Knot
Last Saturday was an ending and a new beginning for Jason and I. The days leading up to the grand event was insane. The whole week is a blur!
I head to Flagstaff the Wednesday before, trying my best to get things in order before family arrived that night and the following morning. Spent a little time with my friends, figuring out my makeup(only did half my face), headed to Church for dinner and bible study and "family time" with those there. It was great to catch up and laugh with my church family. I miss them so much.
Thursday family started arriving, delayed flights and bad weather left me a little lonely Wednesday night, but it was rush, rush when my parents and eldest sister arrived. From there it was getting them checked-in, off to the Ma(ll), dinner with a LBC friend that drove up just for our wedding, and waiting for others to arrive, which wasn't until after 11pm. Jason didn't get into until that evening either.
Friday, was once again non-stop. Woke up, had breakfast with Jason, and headed to the church with my parents. It still seemed like we had plenty to do, especially with how much we packed into that little kitchen! I'm thankful for the fact that there were so many people able to help. Even two of our friends showed up to help with decorating the sanctuary. Then it was off to do errands, meet up with Jason's sister (roommate for the night) and then back to the church for rehearsal.
After rehearsal, which went smoothly thanks to my family's experience with weddings(this being the seventh one), it was a trip downtown with the girls! I had a blast and realized how much I missed them all and our good times together.
Saturday
8AM-Hair Appointment
So through the help of one of my bridesmaids, we got a stylist/hairdresser for doing five people's hair pre-wedding. We were told to be there at 8am, which three of us(including me) were 15 minutes late, but figured it wasn't going to be that bad. The Stylist arranged with me the 8am call time so that we would be at the church no later than 11am(12pm ceremony). So 15 minutes still gave us plenty of time to drive the maybe 5 minutes to the church and get dressed before the big shindig. WRONG!
Let me explain a bit more about the situation. I paid a nice amount of money, actually cheaper than a family friend charges for a bridal party, and I think I only got mediocre service. I'm no perfectionist, I mean, I did my own makeup with the help of my friends and new sister-in-law. But there is some things that are expected that I didn't think we received on this "purchase." The stylist brought in her co-owner/co-worker, which helped the call time be later. If they were not down for helping that morning, all five of us would've been at the salon at 530AM, so I am thankful they we willing! Also, I paid X amount of dollars to get up to six people's hair done, but there was only five of us, so I figured that would just be a nice extra tip for their pocket to be used towards whatever.
I was discouraged two weeks before this day, since the stylist told me that it would be at least an hour per person, which I thought was craziness! Our family friend recently did my little brother's wedding, which was the same amount of girls as mine (bride+4). She did five updo's in 30 minutes! I was reassured it was to give some extra time in case something had to be changed.
We arrived, and the two stylist started working. It was nice that they supplied some type of breakfast for us, which was nice. I tried to eat, but I think the fact that I realized I was getting married later, my nerves got the best of me. The first hour pasts, and they are still working on the first two people's hair. Finally at 10AM one of them finished and started on the next person. Meanwhile, the co-stylist is still working on his first person. I start to freak out, so I focus on my makeup, which I never wear. Jason's sister was a great help, even though she did hardly anything.
1045am, Co-stylist finishes with his first head of hair, and honestly he did barely anything. They styled her hair, looked it over, and decided it wasn't what they wanted. Not my bridesmaid, but the Co-stylist. So they started over. UGH! I tried my best to relax, but I was starting to sweat it a lot, especially since I didn't want to keep people waiting. Plus, I was hungry, and knew there was Bar-B-Q waiting for me! So Jason's sister is next, and they decide to do a French Twist (GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH).
Easy Peasy, right? They curled her hair!?! Why would you curl it for a do that needs to be smooth?
11AM, I finally get my turn in the hot seat. At this point, I'm praying the Stylist just gets it done, but she needed a cigarette break! SERIOUSLY!?! I was promised if we were there at 8am that morning, we would be out of there by 11am. IT'S ELEVEN!
Co-stylist- What time are you guys suppose to be there(at the church)?
Me- Eleven.
Co-Stylist- What time is it now?
Me- Eleven
So they curl my hair, let them set, and I was finished before Jason's sister. Seriously, a French Twist is easy! Why is it taking that long to pin hair and curl wispies? So my hair & makeup is done, three of the four have makeup and hair, and I'm trying my best to wait so we all can go over together. Jason's sister gave me the ok to take off to the church, as long as someone stayed with her. I felt horrible, along with angry and nervous.
Co-Stylist- I'm just pinning right now, it will go fast.
Stylist- Yeah, that's the easy part of the twist, the pinning.
Sister- (Glare)
So three of us leave, get to church, and dress quickly. I feel like we are completely holding up the whole ceremony! I actually cried a little because of my frustration and feeling I had no control over the situation. Then the two others arrive. I give my gifts, help them get dressed, and we line up in the hallway. During this time I had no clock to look at, so I kept thinking the worst.
The music starts, and it hits me, this isn't rehearsal anymore. Maid #1 goes, then Maid #2, then #3, #4, and then my three year old niece. My Dad and I approach the doors, and I start to tear up. "I'm on my Dad's arm, this is real." The music starts, and we enter. "Oh, I have you on the wrong side," my Dad remarks. "So let's trade," and we did a do-si-do. I'm in near tears, but trying to hold my composer. My Dad's voice cracks as he announces he and my mother are giving me away. I loose it! Jason meets me, helps me up the stairs and to where the preacher is. Next thing I know we are saying "I Do" and then our vows. Next the presenting of rings, or wings in our case(family tradition/joke). Light the candle and then presented as Mr. & Mrs!
I barely remember key parts of that day, like how I even got in my dress. I'm so grateful for my family and friends that were there to share that moment with us. We didn't do some "traditional" or normal wedding things, but it still was an amazing day!
I'm also thankful for the Car Show that happened to be that weekend, and can hardly wait to see our pictures! Most of all we both are very happy that we got to spend time with our family that weekend, even if it was only for a few moments at a time.
So I'm married... Still can't completely believe it. Jason and I are still adjusting to the new titles we have for one another, and he's adjusting to his ring. I will try to post pictures on here, as an update to this one, or a new entry.
I head to Flagstaff the Wednesday before, trying my best to get things in order before family arrived that night and the following morning. Spent a little time with my friends, figuring out my makeup(only did half my face), headed to Church for dinner and bible study and "family time" with those there. It was great to catch up and laugh with my church family. I miss them so much.
Thursday family started arriving, delayed flights and bad weather left me a little lonely Wednesday night, but it was rush, rush when my parents and eldest sister arrived. From there it was getting them checked-in, off to the Ma(ll), dinner with a LBC friend that drove up just for our wedding, and waiting for others to arrive, which wasn't until after 11pm. Jason didn't get into until that evening either.
Friday, was once again non-stop. Woke up, had breakfast with Jason, and headed to the church with my parents. It still seemed like we had plenty to do, especially with how much we packed into that little kitchen! I'm thankful for the fact that there were so many people able to help. Even two of our friends showed up to help with decorating the sanctuary. Then it was off to do errands, meet up with Jason's sister (roommate for the night) and then back to the church for rehearsal.
After rehearsal, which went smoothly thanks to my family's experience with weddings(this being the seventh one), it was a trip downtown with the girls! I had a blast and realized how much I missed them all and our good times together.
Saturday
8AM-Hair Appointment
So through the help of one of my bridesmaids, we got a stylist/hairdresser for doing five people's hair pre-wedding. We were told to be there at 8am, which three of us(including me) were 15 minutes late, but figured it wasn't going to be that bad. The Stylist arranged with me the 8am call time so that we would be at the church no later than 11am(12pm ceremony). So 15 minutes still gave us plenty of time to drive the maybe 5 minutes to the church and get dressed before the big shindig. WRONG!
Let me explain a bit more about the situation. I paid a nice amount of money, actually cheaper than a family friend charges for a bridal party, and I think I only got mediocre service. I'm no perfectionist, I mean, I did my own makeup with the help of my friends and new sister-in-law. But there is some things that are expected that I didn't think we received on this "purchase." The stylist brought in her co-owner/co-worker, which helped the call time be later. If they were not down for helping that morning, all five of us would've been at the salon at 530AM, so I am thankful they we willing! Also, I paid X amount of dollars to get up to six people's hair done, but there was only five of us, so I figured that would just be a nice extra tip for their pocket to be used towards whatever.
I was discouraged two weeks before this day, since the stylist told me that it would be at least an hour per person, which I thought was craziness! Our family friend recently did my little brother's wedding, which was the same amount of girls as mine (bride+4). She did five updo's in 30 minutes! I was reassured it was to give some extra time in case something had to be changed.
We arrived, and the two stylist started working. It was nice that they supplied some type of breakfast for us, which was nice. I tried to eat, but I think the fact that I realized I was getting married later, my nerves got the best of me. The first hour pasts, and they are still working on the first two people's hair. Finally at 10AM one of them finished and started on the next person. Meanwhile, the co-stylist is still working on his first person. I start to freak out, so I focus on my makeup, which I never wear. Jason's sister was a great help, even though she did hardly anything.
1045am, Co-stylist finishes with his first head of hair, and honestly he did barely anything. They styled her hair, looked it over, and decided it wasn't what they wanted. Not my bridesmaid, but the Co-stylist. So they started over. UGH! I tried my best to relax, but I was starting to sweat it a lot, especially since I didn't want to keep people waiting. Plus, I was hungry, and knew there was Bar-B-Q waiting for me! So Jason's sister is next, and they decide to do a French Twist (GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH).
Easy Peasy, right? They curled her hair!?! Why would you curl it for a do that needs to be smooth?11AM, I finally get my turn in the hot seat. At this point, I'm praying the Stylist just gets it done, but she needed a cigarette break! SERIOUSLY!?! I was promised if we were there at 8am that morning, we would be out of there by 11am. IT'S ELEVEN!
Co-stylist- What time are you guys suppose to be there(at the church)?
Me- Eleven.
Co-Stylist- What time is it now?
Me- Eleven
So they curl my hair, let them set, and I was finished before Jason's sister. Seriously, a French Twist is easy! Why is it taking that long to pin hair and curl wispies? So my hair & makeup is done, three of the four have makeup and hair, and I'm trying my best to wait so we all can go over together. Jason's sister gave me the ok to take off to the church, as long as someone stayed with her. I felt horrible, along with angry and nervous.
Co-Stylist- I'm just pinning right now, it will go fast.
Stylist- Yeah, that's the easy part of the twist, the pinning.
Sister- (Glare)
So three of us leave, get to church, and dress quickly. I feel like we are completely holding up the whole ceremony! I actually cried a little because of my frustration and feeling I had no control over the situation. Then the two others arrive. I give my gifts, help them get dressed, and we line up in the hallway. During this time I had no clock to look at, so I kept thinking the worst.
The music starts, and it hits me, this isn't rehearsal anymore. Maid #1 goes, then Maid #2, then #3, #4, and then my three year old niece. My Dad and I approach the doors, and I start to tear up. "I'm on my Dad's arm, this is real." The music starts, and we enter. "Oh, I have you on the wrong side," my Dad remarks. "So let's trade," and we did a do-si-do. I'm in near tears, but trying to hold my composer. My Dad's voice cracks as he announces he and my mother are giving me away. I loose it! Jason meets me, helps me up the stairs and to where the preacher is. Next thing I know we are saying "I Do" and then our vows. Next the presenting of rings, or wings in our case(family tradition/joke). Light the candle and then presented as Mr. & Mrs!
I barely remember key parts of that day, like how I even got in my dress. I'm so grateful for my family and friends that were there to share that moment with us. We didn't do some "traditional" or normal wedding things, but it still was an amazing day!
I'm also thankful for the Car Show that happened to be that weekend, and can hardly wait to see our pictures! Most of all we both are very happy that we got to spend time with our family that weekend, even if it was only for a few moments at a time.
So I'm married... Still can't completely believe it. Jason and I are still adjusting to the new titles we have for one another, and he's adjusting to his ring. I will try to post pictures on here, as an update to this one, or a new entry.
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