Didn't Expect Easter...

To be like it was today. Went to Church, obviously my flaky friend flaked. My atheist friend tells me that he wanted to come really bad to breakfast at my church, but his parents asked him to come to Sedona to see a church play his Mother was in, and stay for Easter service... Kinda shocking!

So I went to church, text most of the people I deeply care about "Happy Easter," which in turn found out that my brother's cat is possibly dying (we've had him since 1992). Ate a huge breakfast with wonderful people, went to Sunday School, laughed with everyone and helped decide where to go next in our studies.

Then it was service, which I had discussed with Pam and Pastor Jim about moving my letter and becoming a member at this church earlier in the week, so all I had to do was walk to the front at the invitation...Yikes! I don't like being the center of attention, but if that's how it goes...

But after sitting and chatting it up with a few people, the head decon(I think he's the head decon) walks up to me, which he usually does every Sunday and says hello or something, but this time he asks if I had somewhere to go for Lunch this afternoon. I was kinda shocked at first, I just never really did anything on Easter if I was in Flagstaff, I usually just go home and eat whatever and veg out. "Today's kinda a bad day to spend alone, so if you would like, or if you didn't have any plans, you can come over to our house have lunch, and we can work out the details after the service." I ended up spending 5.5 hours at their house, just talking and laughing and discussing church stuff. I think I made the right choice about attending FSBCF.

So service starts, a few people are caught counting the attendence, I made sure I wasn't one of them. The deal is, if we got 100 people attending service today, our Pastor would have to sing the following Sunday. We got 93, and there were some regulars that were not present, but we have been instructed to not harass them for not being there. It was a great service, and did walk up there and prayed with Pastor. Then stood in the front and shook practically everyone's hands, even one of the members stood up there with me, I think she thought at first I was making a proffession of my faith. Oh well!

I am so thankful for this Church Family that I have become a part of. As Megan(went to lunch at her house) put it, "Welcome to the Family, and the insanity." Made it feel like home... and I know I will grow here, it's already happening. It's not just Church time, it's family time, everytime, even when we are cleaning bathrooms! I love it there, just not sure how long I'm suppose to stay there.

Obviously, with my SBC Letter being moved to Flagstaff, again, my direction in life is to stay here at least through December, but it might be longer. Seminary is something I am also looking into, but unsure which direction in that I'm suppose to go. So for now, I'm trying to keep my Job at NAU, or find one in town so that I can afford to live up here, nothing else. Yes, my loans are due starting July first, but God has allowed for me to prepare for that, and they will be taken care of regardless of my job status. Hopefully I will know if I'm suppose to go to Grad School for my MFA in Printmaking (which seems more doubtful now), or head off to Seminary some where (leaning towards Southwestern or Golden Gate in PHX) by next January. But then again it's in God's Hands, and my trust is in Him.

One or two steps closer....

This week has been interesting, well actually these past few months have. I've realized that my standards for the composite sex were higher than I originally thought. Must: have Faith, be Male, and not-racist. Someone said, "that's still a wide net to throw." But not up here in Flagstaff, I mean most people my age don't go to church, let alone a Southern Baptist Church. Oh well, I just laugh.

I also have realized, though I am not in a dating type relationship, I'm still busy as ever. My time management is getting better, but still I'm wishing for more time to do things, mostly trying to fit in another work out for the day.

Wednesday night, I went to bible study, which only ended up being a prayer meeting since our Pastor wasn't back up from PHX in time. No worries, just glad that he and his wife did make it home safely. So I decided to head over to Greenlaw, the church that Jason was baptized at last year. I pulled in the parking lot, and the first thing I notice is that they are just finishing praying, so I assume it's over, but decide to go in a mingle with a few. Then after parking I see him, Pastor Campbell and his big fatty gut. Sorry, I have issues with Fatty People and not even sure why? But anyway, I seriously sit in my truck for almost 10 minutes, cause I don't want to have to walk past him, but decided to go in even though it was going to be awkward. I passed him in the hall way, shook his hand and went into where everyone else was.

Apparently it was a going away party for one of the families. So I chatted it up with my favorite people and few others, as I could see Pastor Campbell making his way towards me, getting side tracked along the way... But finally he comes and shakes my hand again.

Of course he asks about Jason (which I didn't know he had been calling anyway), who I haven't really talked to in about two to three weeks, unless Facebook for 5 minutes counts. Then he invited me back to church, which means my request for membership hadn't gotten to the right person yet at FSBC. When I told him I was attending FSBC, this man, how dare him, asked me what the attendance was there. Inside I was so mad! but didn't show my discus on the outside.

I know a little why he asked, because there was a "Great Divide" at Greenlaw a bit before Jason and I started attending there. Most of the members went down the road to FSBC, and very few of them have talked to me about there attendance at GL, which is fine, I don't need to be in their business. I mean, Pastor Jim and Pam went to GL a few years back, before he took on the role as Pastor at FSBC.

And then he asks if I am a member there yet, which I was unsure, so I said no. "Oh good, I can still recruit you! hahahahaha" I wanted to say no to his response, cause I was already in the process of moving my letter. I was just glad Brenda didn't leave me alone in conversation with him, I think it would have been worse. But I did get invited to the Good Friday Service they were having.

Thursday went by so fast! Went to work and the next thing I knew I was leaving to go home. Dropped of my Co-worker, Faby, and drove by church to see if Pam was there. Sure enough she was, so I spent like two hours there talking to her, and filled out the form to move my letter. It got left in the safe apparently and Jim just got it the day before. She said he felt so bad about it. But we talked about so many things, including my Wednesday Night, a bit of my back ground, seminary, her daughters, and so on.

Pam was the first person that greeted me the first time I went to FSBC back in November and again in January. Made my experience feel like that of attending church when I was little back in Long Beach. It's wasn't just church, it was family. It hasn't felt like that in a long time, and I can tell I'm growing!

Friday came along, did a half day at work, went to Lunch with Brenda, cleaned my room for the most part. I have a lot I need to go through and purge. Then went to church at 7pm for Good Friday Service. Walking it was kinda weird, and I wanted to turn around as I got the program and was told to take a nail. "great he's using props again," fills my mind. But then I told myself to just be patient, maybe he was going to go over the meaning of the nails, or something. So I sat there feeling the urge to leave, and observing everyone and realizing why I never returned to GL. I wasn't sure what his message was, so rambled and seems like nonsense.

So what did I do, I just talked to God. I bowed my head, and just talked to Him. And boy did I talk to him, I have only cried in church at my grandparents funeral. I try my best to hide my emotions especially when it comes to crying. But as I was in deep communication with Him, tears just started coming down my face. I didn't even throw my nail at the foot of the cross, which the nail just ended up being a nail, not a symbol for anything...LAME!

I have requested information from all but two SBC seminaries, but have only gotten two packets, once from Southwestern (Fort Worth, TX) and Southeastern (Wake Forest, NC). The one in NC is about 20-30 minutes from Durham, so be prepared Emily and Kyle to have your kitchen invaded. But I'm not sure where I'm going, yesterday as I was praying, I feel like seminary is the direction he wants me to go... But I could be wrong...

Today is an Easter Egg Hunt at church, and it's SNOWING!

So I guess we are moving it inside. I get to help a bit, just not sure with what yet.

6pm - 1am...

And I'm not tired. Probably cause I did practically nothing today, except be home for two repair guys. I know I should go to bed, cause I have a day that starts at 8am... Church stuff, Geo Caching, and catching up with people socially... Then I do it again Sunday morning, but I love my Sundays. Good church, good people, and I take something from it each time.

This week has been an odd one. I've been in recent contact with people I haven't seen in over a year, if not more, and the conversations we have had are quite interesting in different ways. Some I completely relate to, feeling that recent sorrow again as if it had just happened hours before. Or reminiscing of high school, and a promise I made in 10th grade about my high school reunion, which is only 3 years away! But they all seem to involve what I'm gonna do next... and all I can say is "I don't know." My sister said it's ok not to know right now, and I understand that. Yet, it's still something that crosses my mind and often included in my daily conversations.

Life is easy if God is in control, or at least I feel it is. But when you are still trying to fight for that control, even after telling yourself He is, that is when life is hard. I'm not worried about money, I'm no longer worried about a job. My concern is what I'm suppose to do for God.

Oh yeah, and I got to party with this dude...

Bad Trips Lead to More Focused Life...

Most of you don't know that I went to Atlanta, GA for Spring Break last week, rather than going back to the hood and spending time with family. Bad choice, but I really didn't take the time to think about it, I seriously bout my ticket only two days after hearing about the trip, and might I add, not knowing all that it entailed. After my purchase, I find out the remaining odd travel details, but felt like I couldn't back out. Almost did, because as I hung out more with the one that invited me to go, the more I didn't want to go. I really don't like LIARS. Yes, I can already see some people thinking, "but she used to lie about almost everything." This is true, which is probably why I don't like people who are complete liars about everything, even when their lies catch up to them, they just add another. So I got toted around Atlanta, my camera broke the first day, just as we entered the World of Coke, so I recorded my adventure to being "COKED OUT."

Though the trip was not one that was very enjoyable, I did talk to God a lot. Mostly because I was excluded from the conversations anyway. Really wished that we didn't eat crap the whole time we were there, which consisted of things I could get in Flagstaff basically. No Fried Southern Food at all... And I really wanted Crawfish.

But my life has changed a lot, and the direction that I thought was the right one, no longer seems that way. I'm trying to figure out what God's doing, and wanting me to do to better serve Him. Missions have come up again and again, seeming more frequent, but I'm not sure if that's what's next. So please pray for me, many things are coming up, and I'm unsure of which one is the right one.

Exercise causes pant loss...

So I'm taking this really lame fitness and conditioning class so I can still work at my campus job. It's really lame. I sign-in, work out, sign-out and leave. It's only two days a week. Just recently I've started getting really hardcore about my workouts. So far I'm up to 50 minutes on the bike, doing the hills mode at level 12, and I've started to do more at home. Along with my food intake change, more small meals with veggies and fruits, my pants that I got in December are falling off, and my belt is on it's last notch! I'm not sure if I'm actually losing weight, but I am losing inches. My goal right now, is to maybe do the Long Beach Half Marathon that I did in 2001. We shall see...

I wish God gave me this Talent...

Let it snow...

Had to left work at 2pm Monday, and this is what I came home to...