Saturday, April 19, 2008
Why is it so hard to just trust God? I mean, He's in control, but I struggle so much to allow myself to just let Him work. I just found out today that a very important person in my life isn't doing so well, which is a bit of a given since she is almost 82, but it still brings sorrow to my heart. But God is in control right? Everything that will happen involving her is according to His plans. So if she goes home, I shouldn't be so upset about it... I can't change His course for her, but I can celebrate, when the time comes, her finally being home, and my excitement to go home myself. Right now I'm hurting for no reason, or at least something that has yet to happen, when I should just trust.
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2 comments:
Would you rather her stay here and continue to be old and tired? Or would you rather her be able to see Jesus?
I know it sucks... But look at the bigger picture. Currently she's not the grandma we want to remember anyways...
Just like grandpa, I don't dwell about how he was barely hanging on, I remember how he used to show us how to play pool, turn the sprinklers on for us to play in them. Breaking out the slip'n'slide, even at big family events. Even just how he always had something special for any of us when ever we saw him(newspaper article, computer stuff/issues, quarters).
Gotta think about how we could never get to her to just relax at Christmas eve. When she said she didn't like the discovery channel cause they let the monkeys eat each other(that made me laugh just typing it out). Always telling new people the same embarrassing stories about us growing up. Teaching you how to paint. Being a GREAT grandma, literally.
It will suck when she dies, but everyone is gonna die. I'm just glad she's a Christan and is going to go to heaven. Her not being saved would make this ordeal a whole lot harder...
Think about how much they love(d) you, and want(ed) you to be happy.
Look at them as examples for your future. I want to be like them when I grow up. Strong Christian influences on everyone around them/me.
We love you Raylene, please dont get too upset about this. We miss you and hope your doing well at school and work.
-Paul
ps. We could always go hook up the slip'n'slide for old times sake. Its getting pretty warm here. Sure the nephews would love it.
I agree with what Paul is saying...Gregg & I were talking about this after Daddy called me on Saturday. My heart is aching too. When we saw her in March it was difficult. Especially since just a year ago she was so different. I am choosing to think of all the great memories: "do you want to get your ears pierced? I think they do that at the swap meet." & "Do you think that boy Rhonda is dating is an albino?" I am sure she is hurting just being alone without G-pa for this long. I know I would be. If it is time for her to go, at least she has a glorius home to go to & no pain, no medication, NO STUPID WALKER, G-pa, Mr & Mrs Brice, Mrs Roberts and all her other friends that are already there.
I kinda like Paul's idea to hook up the slip n slide & turn on the sprinklers. I think all the grandbabies would enjoy that as much as we used to....! Hopefully we will be there soon. I wish that I could be there to hug you, but again...I am too far.
I will always look at my G-parents as great, loving, inspirational, compromising, christian, wonderful amazing people and hope that I can someday be 1/2 of what they were. I love you.
becca
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