My God, My God, Why Am I Avoiding You?

I'm not a total slacker, He and I talk everyday, but I am lacking in the following department. Kind of like how I've avoided exercising this week, even though I tell myself I need to and want to, but I make excuses. "oh I have to do this and that; Wow, where did the day go?" And I know that's not how it should be. I need to be more disciplined with my walk and relationship with God, and that should be first. I have weeded out my habits of reading, even for pleasure simply because "I'm Busy."

Even now I could be reading/studying/having one-on-one time...or riding the bike.

Job-less and Not Looking

I really thought my life would be a whole lot different than it currently is. I'm a 26 years old, unmarried female with no kids. When I was eighteen I thought I was set, two years later that changed, just grew different directions, for the better for obvious reasons. There were others that seemed to fit the bill, just a bit of fine tuning was needed, but never addressed. I know God has a plan for me, because I have detoured so many times and returned to a recognizable path. That path is usually filled with Single-ness, which just gives me more time to focus on my walk and family stuff, which is great, but I'm totally going through the whole Maternal Clock phase, which makes me just feel selfish and materialistic.

I really don't like this point in my life. I have no job and don't really care to have one at the moment. Maybe because I dreamed of being in my child raising years now, but I have responsibilities and being unemployed doesn't help me be responsible. I really just want to be a bum or house wife, which ever one come first.

I am grateful for the fact that I am surrounded by love ones and have been busy with my California family ever since I returned home. And usually there is a "but" right now, I'm trying to change my ways...

Is it worth it...

Blogging... Someone asked me tonight if I was blogging at the moment, which I was not, but made me realize that I haven't been on here in a long time. Which also caused me to realize that if I'm not using it, should I lose it?

I have people in my outer circle that blog just about everyday, and I enjoy reading most of their entries, but for the most part I just skim. Don't get me wrong, the internet is very addicting, and I lose a lot of time just reading or talking to people... I really need to do something else with my time.

But is this blog worth keeping?

CANCELLED

Yesterday, I decided that getting on a train for Flagstaff tonight and spending a whole week there would not be a good choice right now. There is a Fire actually in town, and the wind is not helping. Also, something came up that makes me feel even more like God is telling me right now is not the time to visit. So I will pick up my tickets, and use them for a future date... Just sucks, but God wants me here for now, rather than away.

Excited Travels

I'm heading to Flagstaff Sunday, and I'm super excited. I'm missed my mountain town, can't believe it's been almost a year. I'm just concerned about staying the whole week. I want to go to Church and Wednesday Night Dinner/Bible study to see people from FSBC Flagstaff. Other than that, I have no set plans, which is a good thing. I'm worried I will run out of things to do, since most of the people I know will be working, or out of town. Regardless, I can't help but be uber excited.

Since being home, I've been a lot busier than I thought I would be. I'm still home alone most of the time, but I've been visiting with family, or working on projects for my parents. As of now, I am practically booked for non-home stuff for the next three weeks. I really thought it would be worse moving home. It does have its downsides and some things do really piss me off, but I'm glad I came home. Just not sure how long I'll be "home."

Hulu is my drug of choice right now. I've discovered a PBS series call Empires, and it's done fairly well. I have had a few disagreements with some things, but I love history. Plus, I can put Empires on while I'm working on something, cause it's more narration than actual acting. My nerdiness is coming out in someways...

I Made It...

Over three weeks ago.

I haven't found a job yet, but I haven't really been looking. Since I got home, I've been doing chores and such around the house for my busy parents. Also, it's sort of nice not having a job right now, but I will need one.

I haven't look at classes at all for the Fall semester, I really should get on that...BLAH

Ready, But...

I am completely packed, even to the point I'm living out of a duffel bag for the week. Thorough? Just a bit. But Jason has only packed two boxes. Most of the stuff in the house is his and a lot of my stuff remained in boxes since November. He says he's good at packing last minute and his Dad will be here tonight to help with final packing stuff, but he has more than just packing to do. I'm just worried about when we are leaving, since Friday will be a long day with just loading the truck. I can pretty much pack my truck bed, and plan to, on Thursday, so it's done and out of the way. Just pray for my patience with this.

I'm ready for this trip to be over and it hasn't even started. It's going to be a long drive, too long of a drive for me driving alone. We are staying the night somewhere Friday, so it shouldn't be too bad, except Saturday is a 16+ hour drive. I drove straight through when I came out to Austin, which wasn't smart, but it only took 25 hours or so. Now being stretched across three straight days, that's a lot of time in my truck.

Sorry, I just needed to vent I guess...