Half Way There

On this upcoming Saturday, I will have been officially married for six months. SIX MONTHS! Six very life changing, strange, and growing months.

Let start with the growing, both physical and emotionally. I'm sensitive, maybe because I love and care full heartedly. Maybe because I'm the baby girl of our family. Or, just because God needs me to be for others or better relate to those also classified as "sensitive." Jason, not so much, which causes conflict, but we are working on this together. I'm trying my best not to act on first hurt, because it's not always his intention to hurt. We both have also realized how much Marriage is different than dating. Dating you can escape, leave to your own space, or just end things, cry a little, and be done. Marriage, you have joined your lives together, and separation is a heck of a lot harder, and neither one of us is willing to give up on each other. Do not be quick to think we are constantly at each other, arguing and thinking of divorce, we are just adjusting to things neither one of us is used to.

Physically, I have grown, well not grown, but gained 20lbs in these six months. I'm so upset with myself about it as well. But what have I done? Nothing. Maybe hoped, dreamed, and set out for healthier me, but not physically doing anything to get me there. I so easily say, "I just need to run, and I'll be good." but right after, "But my current weight would reek havoc on my already damaged knees." A year ago, I was still considered overweight, thanks to BMI's inaccuracy. I was living at home, but while at home I was doing more than sitting at a computer for 8 hour a day. I was totally into my gardening plans, helping family, and eventually planning my wedding. Now, as I mentioned, most of my daylight hours are in front of a computer monitor, well actually two. Then it's home, sitting again, exploring the internets and watching TV with Jason.

Yesterday, I decided to change that. I'm not looking to loose 5 lbs a week, or anything crazily unhealthy like that. I simply want to loose the 20lbs I have gained since September. My first goal, minus the end results, is to do seven days of a workout I found via Pintrest.com. Just seven days of some kind of work out. So far so good.

A life is hard for everyone in the world, and Jason and I's life just got a bit harder. A few weeks ago he was fired. Lame, big time. But we are adjusting, and he is doing his best to find where God wants him now. We are trusting God once again, it's just hard when your household income gets cut in more than half. We just ask for your prayers. Thankfully were are already on a budget, have our "emergency fund," and our tax return. So we will survive on what we have for a bit, but it's still scary. We could be worse, far worse.

Life is changing, always...