Finally it's Monday, which means tomorrow is Tuesday... Why am I pointing out something so common as that? Tuesday is our last event for the whole month of February, which means I get to breathe, or at least for a week. With back to back events each week, I thought I was going to loose my cool. But after a over 12 hour day tomorrow... I just want to chill and catch up in the shop. Then it will be Carnival Night.
Lately I've been getting really frustrated, and actually taking it out on Jason. I feel bad, especially the last two days. Yes, some of the frustration was with him, but that was discussed upon the time it happened or shortly after. We talk, a lot, about ourselves and when we are troubled regardless whether it's between us or others. But yesterday was drowning in this irritable anger.
First of all, it was Sunday, and what do I do on Sundays? I go to Church and do laundry. But I got up, looked out my window, and it's snowing. So I shower, get dressed and waited on Jason. Decided to go shovel the front and the back for ease of access throughout the morning for myself and the roommates. I guess the snow was really coming down, well not like pouring rain, but what I shoveled soon was covered with another layer of new snow in a matter of a few minutes. I started to get worried, "is it's ok to drive in this crap?" See where I live, you have to either go up a really steep hill, or around the neighborhood and up a littler hill to get out to the main road, and there have been times when that wasn't possible. Jason gets there, we go, almost doing a 360 on the way down one of the small roads. I hate how the roads are up here, nothing was plowed yet, minus the parking lot at church.
So after church, I just want to go home, but the roommates wanted to meet up and go to Sam's, fine, but no of them were ready to go right at noon, and Jason was hungry. So we went by ourselves, shopped for dinner and necessities, and got two polish dogs each. Jamie calls, and Jason tells her we are already there and shopped, which is when he hands me the phone. She sounded almost disappointed that we went without, but the plan was to meet up after Jason and I were out of Church, and they weren't ready. So we get home, after a few more stops, which just causes me to get cranky... "I just want to go home."
We finally get there, and Jason tries to convince me to go chill, but more things just keep causing me to get more and more upset... I was not Raylene yesterday, I was someone else, someone almost gutless and angry at at the world. I don't like being that person, ever. Yes, I know I can be a bit of a slave driver at work, but I've chilled out a lot since I started, and it helps when we have people that want to work, not just get paid. I'm hoping this week gets a bit better...
No comments:
Post a Comment