Yesterday I turned 32. Not totally shocking as I was expecting it, as I do each year, but this year is different. But was shocked with the amount of love I have received from so many people, not just family and friends. And I thank you!
Two weeks ago I had a huge interview, within my currently company. Truly felt I was a great fit for this position, but they decide to go outside, which I knew was a possibility. The way the news was given to me, didn't prevent disappointment, but was still greatly appreciated that it was done face to face and I could get great feedback from the head honcho. Which now, has turned into a type of mentoring, or that's how I see it.
This individual has challenged me to really narrow down what it is that I want to do, within this organization I have been apart of for four year, or possibly somewhere new. We have only had one face to face chat so far, but already I'm realizing things about myself in regards to my employment that before I didn't even think about. I'm hoping through this individual that my insecurities regarding professionalism fades, but that I can move forward and not feel like I'm stuck anymore. There is a better position for me out there, where my talents and desire can truly be used to their fullest.
This year will be a year of change, and I excited for it. Yes, there is always change, but I feel there is going to be some big this year, but only if I do my part.
I'm going to set some personal goals as well as these professional ones. Not because it's a new year, but because it's new me. I'm not going to include fitness goals or some clique crap like that, mostly because those are great and all, but I hardly stick to them. These personal goals, are for growth, mostly in regards to loving myself.
It was recently mentioned to me that I need to really thinking about what I let rent space in my mind. Currently, at lot of that should have been evicted a while back. Bad habits, insecurities and just overall irrationality. People are just people, I shouldn't be concerned in how they view me or how I think they may perceive me. I often count myself out before I even get to introductions. "They are going to think I'm and idiot, or realize that I'm just average." But I'm not average, and I am very intelligent, but I assume others are far superior to myself. It's just plain stupid. So I'm going to work on that. Negative thinking just causes irrationality.
I usually, from these irrational thoughts, seek encouragement for those around me. I call it a slap of reality, but really it's just me being a whiny brat. "Help me, help me! Tell me I'm just thinking to much." I'm an adult, not a child, and need to stop acting as such. I'm going to write down every day positive things about myself. Again, negativity just ruins everything, and is not constructive at all.
As I journey through this, I hope to continue, or re-continue my ramblings here. This blog is almost nine years old, and been a great asset to myself, but I don't utilize it as I should. I hope to change that.
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