So I'm out of my old house... Practically. I still have a few, very few items left there and some minor cleaning to do, but as of Saturday it should all be taken care off. So far only one casualty... I should have tied down the book case...

VBS is four weeks away, and I've gone over my work book a few times, but still worry if I can handle leading the class. I have at least two other people helping me, one being the Director for VBS this year, I almost just want to hand it off, but I said I would do it. Pam, the Pastor's Wife, said she would help me go over it and plan a bit. Honestly, I'm thinking more about decorating the room than the actual lessons. At least I have an age group that I'm comfortable with. How hard should it be to take Kindergartners on a trip to the Outback? Plus, that's the age group I usually coached during the summer for kickball or played with the most...

Like I said earlier, Jason and I are talking, well it's more than talking. He's actually been telling people, mostly close friends and family, that we are together. I know those of you that I have talked to a few month back during our break are probably thinking/saying "be carefull." I know... It's like the old Jason, like when we first started dating, but with a little known history. We both have talked about the break up, and it was a great thing for the both of us. God allowed up to figure out what it was we really needed of ourselves, mine was God. There are a few things that still need to be worked out and discussed and we are doing so, and my trust is still in God and I'm letting HIM make the decisions...

Jason is actually moving at the end of June to Austin, Texas. A month sooner than he expected, but family has upped the departure date. Please pray for him as he is looking for a job there to help cover his bills and expenses. He could transfer with Sears, but believes he would have to get a second job (probably delivering pizzas again) just to survive. He's trying to put his faith in God that He will provide, but it hard for him at times to think that way, especially now that he has kind of a deadline to meet.

As for me... Like I've been saying, my life seems to change every six months. So who knows...

And the Wrenches Fly

This week has been very interesting, but then again, every week is interesting in it's own way. Since I didn't get back to Flagstaff until Monday night, I've had my days mixed up, to the point I told someone I was going to church on Saturday night? Weird I know. But that wasn't even the most interesting part of my week, but I have been busy to the max.

I'm almost completely out of my old house. Just have a few things there, some of which is going to church for the youth yard sale, so it will live in the garage here until the Thursday before the Sale. I can't wait to get out of there completely and be done with it all. I mean, stuff has been taken that was mine, and I've asked for it back, but still haven't seen or heard anything about it, not cool. I think by Tuesday I'll be all out, and then this weekend I'll clean the areas assigned to me.

As for my working out, I found out that the first 3 week session of the Summer classes counts as Spring, so I can still go to the rec center for two more weeks, then I'll be using Kristin's ID. Hopefully we both don't decide to go at the same time. Oh well, 20 bucks for five sessions isn't bad I guess. But as for my training, I have done nothing, mostly because my excuse now is that I don't have shoes once again and I've been busy. Flip Flops just are easier to put on than laces.

Why does everyone seem to think I'm moving away. I thought I told everyone important that I'm staying through December, maybe longer, and applying to some Grad schools and Seminaries as of Jan 1st, 2010. Hopefully I can go visit a few of them, or at least my top three next semester.

I've been hanging out with Jason for the past four days. He's actually one of the people who thought I was moving away. We still have a lot to talk about, but it's nice to talk, hang out, and share time with one another again, just like old times. We are making plans to go camping, or road trips around AZ like we used to. He even wants to start coming to church with me, but until his supervisor comes back he is stuck working Sundays, but there is evening services/bible studies. But like I said, there are things that we still need to discuss, and it seems like everyday we get some of them out in the open. God is still in control of this situation like He was in January...

So weird, talking to someone back on via internets, and she had to get off because a huge earthquake just started...

Week 24: Time to Buckle Down

Last week I did nothing in terms of my training. It was kinda windy all week, and I didn't want to fight it or run 24 laps in the Field house, but maybe that needs to be my back up. But along with the lack of exercise being produced by myself, my diet has kind of gone out the window. It's hard to keep such a low calorie intake, especially when your schedule gets messed up or changed and you don't go work out. I'm gonna try to be better about it this week starting Monday, but hopefully I can get to the gym tonight.

Grad school is coming back into the picture it seems. I think I'll apply to both seminary and grad school in January next year for Fall 10 and see where that takes me. Honestly I think I would enjoy Grad school and the opportunities it will present.

I can't wait to move. People are starting to be babies and drama, and I'm over it. But at least I have a place for a little while. Doors don't need to slam and petty notes don't need to be posted. If you need to talk to me about something, you do it to my face. I'm really hoping that I don't have to approach them, cause I will go off, which will not be good for me or the other person.

I'm glad I'll be home in less that five days...

25 Weeks...

Until Race Day, so training starts tomorrow. But since I have more than enough time before race day, I'm using two different training schedules, mostly because I haven't really ran anything yet. Just been doing Cross Training I guess. I'm still going to use the stationary bike, it will help my cardio, but with this new endeavor I have realized that I'm missing a key piece of equipment: A watch. I haven't worn a sports watch since my last one broke in 2002, and that one was awesome.

I've been looking/comparing many, mostly Polar watches. But I guess for now I should just get a cheapie watch, and go for the Polar one later, or as I get closer to race day. Yes, the Polar watches are Heart Rate Monitors and some can tell you how many calories you have burned during work outs. So not something really needed for just running, I guess.

My housing situation is now up in the air. I think it will be ok, I have a back up if it falls through. Just have to see what God's doing with that, and it will come soon. But please pray about it if you can.

So tomorrow is 65 minutes of Cross training and a three mile run. I need to figure out a route, I have never ran around Flagstaff before. But hopefully I'll be able to figure it out before tomorrow.

I'm excited to go home, and I'm actually going to be hitting the LBC this time. Yet, it will still be a busy weekend. Plan on leaving Flagstaff sometime on Friday, hopefully not too late and get into Victorville sometime that evening. May go hang out with a friend, and stay with the Lusters. Birthday parties, Tee ball, and baby holding is what's up for the following day. Sunday, my niece Eleanor is getting baptized, and Henry is getting dedicated, plus it's Mother's Day. I may just leave that Thursday afternoon, not sure if there is really a point to staying in Flagstaff on Friday...But we will see when it gets closer... 12 days to go.

Didn't Expect Easter...

To be like it was today. Went to Church, obviously my flaky friend flaked. My atheist friend tells me that he wanted to come really bad to breakfast at my church, but his parents asked him to come to Sedona to see a church play his Mother was in, and stay for Easter service... Kinda shocking!

So I went to church, text most of the people I deeply care about "Happy Easter," which in turn found out that my brother's cat is possibly dying (we've had him since 1992). Ate a huge breakfast with wonderful people, went to Sunday School, laughed with everyone and helped decide where to go next in our studies.

Then it was service, which I had discussed with Pam and Pastor Jim about moving my letter and becoming a member at this church earlier in the week, so all I had to do was walk to the front at the invitation...Yikes! I don't like being the center of attention, but if that's how it goes...

But after sitting and chatting it up with a few people, the head decon(I think he's the head decon) walks up to me, which he usually does every Sunday and says hello or something, but this time he asks if I had somewhere to go for Lunch this afternoon. I was kinda shocked at first, I just never really did anything on Easter if I was in Flagstaff, I usually just go home and eat whatever and veg out. "Today's kinda a bad day to spend alone, so if you would like, or if you didn't have any plans, you can come over to our house have lunch, and we can work out the details after the service." I ended up spending 5.5 hours at their house, just talking and laughing and discussing church stuff. I think I made the right choice about attending FSBCF.

So service starts, a few people are caught counting the attendence, I made sure I wasn't one of them. The deal is, if we got 100 people attending service today, our Pastor would have to sing the following Sunday. We got 93, and there were some regulars that were not present, but we have been instructed to not harass them for not being there. It was a great service, and did walk up there and prayed with Pastor. Then stood in the front and shook practically everyone's hands, even one of the members stood up there with me, I think she thought at first I was making a proffession of my faith. Oh well!

I am so thankful for this Church Family that I have become a part of. As Megan(went to lunch at her house) put it, "Welcome to the Family, and the insanity." Made it feel like home... and I know I will grow here, it's already happening. It's not just Church time, it's family time, everytime, even when we are cleaning bathrooms! I love it there, just not sure how long I'm suppose to stay there.

Obviously, with my SBC Letter being moved to Flagstaff, again, my direction in life is to stay here at least through December, but it might be longer. Seminary is something I am also looking into, but unsure which direction in that I'm suppose to go. So for now, I'm trying to keep my Job at NAU, or find one in town so that I can afford to live up here, nothing else. Yes, my loans are due starting July first, but God has allowed for me to prepare for that, and they will be taken care of regardless of my job status. Hopefully I will know if I'm suppose to go to Grad School for my MFA in Printmaking (which seems more doubtful now), or head off to Seminary some where (leaning towards Southwestern or Golden Gate in PHX) by next January. But then again it's in God's Hands, and my trust is in Him.

One or two steps closer....

This week has been interesting, well actually these past few months have. I've realized that my standards for the composite sex were higher than I originally thought. Must: have Faith, be Male, and not-racist. Someone said, "that's still a wide net to throw." But not up here in Flagstaff, I mean most people my age don't go to church, let alone a Southern Baptist Church. Oh well, I just laugh.

I also have realized, though I am not in a dating type relationship, I'm still busy as ever. My time management is getting better, but still I'm wishing for more time to do things, mostly trying to fit in another work out for the day.

Wednesday night, I went to bible study, which only ended up being a prayer meeting since our Pastor wasn't back up from PHX in time. No worries, just glad that he and his wife did make it home safely. So I decided to head over to Greenlaw, the church that Jason was baptized at last year. I pulled in the parking lot, and the first thing I notice is that they are just finishing praying, so I assume it's over, but decide to go in a mingle with a few. Then after parking I see him, Pastor Campbell and his big fatty gut. Sorry, I have issues with Fatty People and not even sure why? But anyway, I seriously sit in my truck for almost 10 minutes, cause I don't want to have to walk past him, but decided to go in even though it was going to be awkward. I passed him in the hall way, shook his hand and went into where everyone else was.

Apparently it was a going away party for one of the families. So I chatted it up with my favorite people and few others, as I could see Pastor Campbell making his way towards me, getting side tracked along the way... But finally he comes and shakes my hand again.

Of course he asks about Jason (which I didn't know he had been calling anyway), who I haven't really talked to in about two to three weeks, unless Facebook for 5 minutes counts. Then he invited me back to church, which means my request for membership hadn't gotten to the right person yet at FSBC. When I told him I was attending FSBC, this man, how dare him, asked me what the attendance was there. Inside I was so mad! but didn't show my discus on the outside.

I know a little why he asked, because there was a "Great Divide" at Greenlaw a bit before Jason and I started attending there. Most of the members went down the road to FSBC, and very few of them have talked to me about there attendance at GL, which is fine, I don't need to be in their business. I mean, Pastor Jim and Pam went to GL a few years back, before he took on the role as Pastor at FSBC.

And then he asks if I am a member there yet, which I was unsure, so I said no. "Oh good, I can still recruit you! hahahahaha" I wanted to say no to his response, cause I was already in the process of moving my letter. I was just glad Brenda didn't leave me alone in conversation with him, I think it would have been worse. But I did get invited to the Good Friday Service they were having.

Thursday went by so fast! Went to work and the next thing I knew I was leaving to go home. Dropped of my Co-worker, Faby, and drove by church to see if Pam was there. Sure enough she was, so I spent like two hours there talking to her, and filled out the form to move my letter. It got left in the safe apparently and Jim just got it the day before. She said he felt so bad about it. But we talked about so many things, including my Wednesday Night, a bit of my back ground, seminary, her daughters, and so on.

Pam was the first person that greeted me the first time I went to FSBC back in November and again in January. Made my experience feel like that of attending church when I was little back in Long Beach. It's wasn't just church, it was family. It hasn't felt like that in a long time, and I can tell I'm growing!

Friday came along, did a half day at work, went to Lunch with Brenda, cleaned my room for the most part. I have a lot I need to go through and purge. Then went to church at 7pm for Good Friday Service. Walking it was kinda weird, and I wanted to turn around as I got the program and was told to take a nail. "great he's using props again," fills my mind. But then I told myself to just be patient, maybe he was going to go over the meaning of the nails, or something. So I sat there feeling the urge to leave, and observing everyone and realizing why I never returned to GL. I wasn't sure what his message was, so rambled and seems like nonsense.

So what did I do, I just talked to God. I bowed my head, and just talked to Him. And boy did I talk to him, I have only cried in church at my grandparents funeral. I try my best to hide my emotions especially when it comes to crying. But as I was in deep communication with Him, tears just started coming down my face. I didn't even throw my nail at the foot of the cross, which the nail just ended up being a nail, not a symbol for anything...LAME!

I have requested information from all but two SBC seminaries, but have only gotten two packets, once from Southwestern (Fort Worth, TX) and Southeastern (Wake Forest, NC). The one in NC is about 20-30 minutes from Durham, so be prepared Emily and Kyle to have your kitchen invaded. But I'm not sure where I'm going, yesterday as I was praying, I feel like seminary is the direction he wants me to go... But I could be wrong...

Today is an Easter Egg Hunt at church, and it's SNOWING!

So I guess we are moving it inside. I get to help a bit, just not sure with what yet.

6pm - 1am...

And I'm not tired. Probably cause I did practically nothing today, except be home for two repair guys. I know I should go to bed, cause I have a day that starts at 8am... Church stuff, Geo Caching, and catching up with people socially... Then I do it again Sunday morning, but I love my Sundays. Good church, good people, and I take something from it each time.

This week has been an odd one. I've been in recent contact with people I haven't seen in over a year, if not more, and the conversations we have had are quite interesting in different ways. Some I completely relate to, feeling that recent sorrow again as if it had just happened hours before. Or reminiscing of high school, and a promise I made in 10th grade about my high school reunion, which is only 3 years away! But they all seem to involve what I'm gonna do next... and all I can say is "I don't know." My sister said it's ok not to know right now, and I understand that. Yet, it's still something that crosses my mind and often included in my daily conversations.

Life is easy if God is in control, or at least I feel it is. But when you are still trying to fight for that control, even after telling yourself He is, that is when life is hard. I'm not worried about money, I'm no longer worried about a job. My concern is what I'm suppose to do for God.

Oh yeah, and I got to party with this dude...