Cleaning, Cleaning, Cleaning the Whole Freaking House!

I'm currently experiencing what it must be like to be a housewife. I've cleaned the counters, washed dishes, swept and mopped the floors, while organizing what I plan to make for dinner tonight. There are still other things that need to be done, that I, myself will have to do, since people aren't carrying their weight. Some one once stated, "I'm okay with me being messy, but if you're messy, I don't like it." I'm finding myself being the cleaning lady, along with being the Mom. I try my best to keep common living areas that I use, ie kitchen, cleaned up. Cause I would rather make my food on a clean counter, rather than one that is covered with bread crumbs and wine stains. It's constantly like this, and since it is, there is talk of getting a maid. Why get one, when I already do it all?

I'm doing a lot of clean up with my life in general. It's a bit slow right now, trying to figure out what to trash, keep, and get. That includes friends. I'm slowly pulling myself away from those that tend to lead me in the wrong direction, or give my person a bad rap. This past week, at Yosemite, it was repeated everyday to do everything in glorification of the Lord. I have a lot of behaviors, that prior to this past week, that I was trying to work on, but never thought of how they don't glorify Him. It's not gonna be an over night kind of thing, but I will struggle with it. But at least I'll be struggling.

My heart is stirred up, as if it's on the verge of breaking. Why now? I have no idea what to do about it. I'm doing my best to just sit back and let God take care of every little bit, but it's mostly with the small things. Why can't I just be submissive to Him? It's not like He has ever let me down, or left me on my own. Even when I've tried to neglect Him, He has always been there. "He cares for everyone, even those that don't believe."