Well I burned my pizza, and I only have me to blame. I thought I would help my mom out and do a quick dinner, since we both just got home a bit ago. No one except my Dad knows about the burnt one, which I plan on eating myself. And so far, it doesn't taste that bad. Hey I like my bacon burnt, and don't ask me as to why...
I really wanted to go out tonight, especially since Melony got my hopes up with talk of Game Night at her house last week. But that was out of the question, but she wanted to go back to the fair, which would have been fine, but I had to do errands with my Mom. I needed to go shopping for clothes, especially for camping. I left everything I possibly would wear back in Flagstaff, since camping had not crossed my mind while packing for home. So I ended up with three new pairs of jeans, a pair of short, a pair of caprices, and two girly outfits. I seriously got a dress, and I defiantly will wear it more than once. My Mom notice that I tend to lean more towards brown, which I'm more of a Dark Blue Fan, but I look amazing in brown. I'm excited for my change in style!
The last couple of days have been trying, especially on my patiences, which I'm losing more frequently it seems. Sunday, I had to tell someone over the internet at I was not interested in anything more than a friendship. I really wish it could have been under different circumstances, and not over AIM or even the phone, but the opportunity came, and I ceased the day. I felt so shady the whole time, but what else was I suppose to do?
Then work on Monday, which I wasn't feeling it. I was only at work for a total of 30 minutes, and really wanted to ask if I could go and they get a sub for the day. Everything seemed to annoy me, including some of the sweetest kids I work with. I can only handle the repetition of the same question, from the same kid in less than ten minutes. I felt bad telling them that they needed to leave me alone and to go away, but that's better than yelling at them / making them cry. So I sat inside until it was time to go on the field trip. Yes, you can call me selfish, but I did work on preparation for a craft, so it's not like I just sat there and watched movies all day. At least for the field trip (evan almighty) we only had a total of six kids, so I was hoping for a nice little nap in the movie. But God just kept piling it on it seemed. The BUS DRIVER! Oh my goodness...if you want to hear the story, you better call and ask...But I did my best to hold my composure, for the sake of my kids and myself. I was glad that I just went home, and slept.
Today was a lot better, still a bit stressful, but at least I got to go in a nice, cool pool for two hours. Collin asked why I don't go off the diving boards that last time we both went. "I'll pop out." Confusion struck his face, but only briefly. My bathing suit is nothing more than something to cover the parts of my body that should not be viewed by others. I had to stay in the shallows, since I had two kids just under four feet...eh, still had a blast playing. I felt bad for dunking the same boy and him (the two times I did it) swallowing the chlorinated water. These kids need to learn how to blow bubbles out there face! But I'm not their Momma, so I do the best I can. And so far this summer I've only had one kid call me "Mom," and I'm not even sure they realized they did.
I just hope with these last two days that I can keep my cool, and not get so easily irritated. They are just kids, but they are our future. But being kids they need to stay kids as long as possible. Not these Tweens that act as if they are grown for whatever reason. Sometimes I wish these kids could have had the type of carefree life I had as a kid. Many have already experienced things that I didn't even know existed until I was much older. I think that's why I'm having a hard time with this generation...
So where do I go now??? I have so much on my mind these days...and can't seem to get them organized or even solved. Things are gonna change big time in the next few weeks, but can I handle it, whatever it may be? I really think I can, in all honesty...at least with Him. But I want the answers now, or at least the equations. Not so much a cheat sheet, but just the way to do things to get the solution for the unknown...But yet again, I'm stuck without a plan, and we need a plan, right?
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