Finally back from my two days in the high dessert(and that's what it's called Mr. Barnett), and about to be off again to hang out with Julian. But felt the need to write a bit.
So I ditched work today to go with my sisters to Rhonda's first dress fitting, which took over two hours! But it was nice not to have to go to work, and sleep in a little, though Bo woke me up at 6am with the sound of mega blocks crashing to the floor. I feel a bit better about my situation there, but really don't want to go back tomorrow. It's two weeks and four days until I return to my home in Flagstaff, but it's still a while. I just need to not let it bother me too much, it's small potatoes, and not gonna change my life in anyway. Plus, it's about the kids, and my involvement in their lives, not these little flare-ups that aren't gonna do any damage.
As I watched my sister try on dress after dress, I couldn't help but think about myself when it came that time. I'll probably be married in the next five years, but I've been wrong before. When I was eighteen, I really didn't think school was for me, and that I just wanted to marry Julian and start my family. But that was also because I wanted(and sometimes still do) eight kids, so why not get started early? But I was just a kid then, and I'm not saying I'm a grown up yet, but I'm getting pretty dang close. But when I do get that ring from the love of my life, whom ever he may be, is my family going to be involved like they are with now? This came to mind, mostly because of how Retah and Rachael we're acting, but they both have already gone down that aisle. Also, I don't feel the want to be in California and making it my place to raise my family, so that makes it closer to a "no" answer. Plus, I'm not that close to my sisters, mostly because of the age difference. The four of them are the eldest of the seven, thus more moments growing up, and a lot of things I don't remember either because I wasn't around or was too little to remember it's importance. Rhonda is Five years older than me, Retah eight, Rachael ten, and Rebecca thirteen; so you can see the intimacy that I lack when it comes to them. But she found her dress, which I'm glad. It fits her, and she still can bounce in the bounce house. Yes, she is getting a bounce house, which is cool, and that's where you'll find me!
But I am glad I'm not part of the bridal party, I didn't want to be the one having to wear the pink dress. Yea, when I first heard that I might be one of the people in charge of collecting gifts, it hurt a little, but I also understand why. Ten months out of the year I'm out in Flagstaff, and not available to come home on short notice if needed. Plus, you shouldn't show up the bride, HA! But at least I get to fine a nice little dress to wear that will actually fit and look great on me. So more motivation to go work out...Fit into a sexy little dress in March, since the one I tried on didn't really fit...Too much in the bust area. Maybe I'll try it on again, since I'll be loosing some inches and weight!
I spent most of my weekend with the Lusters, though very tiring at times, it was still great. My nephew James walked (took three steps) today. Samuel is talking more and more, and he's not even three yet; And Bo is still testing his boundaries, but he's almost five. It was also nice to be able to talk to Retah last night. I did end up crying and getting some things off of my chest. She helped me realize a lot of things, though I couldn't get it to come out in English at times. My family loves me, and always will, whether they express it(which we really don't). Yeah, I've done things a bit drastic (moving to Flagstaff for a boy), but I need to. I told Retah how I'm constantly promoting myself in hopes of getting some type of recognition, knowing I won't get it. It's not that I don't, it's just not on the level that I expect. My family knows my worth in a sense, so there is no need to brag or boost. And the same goes with everyone else: they will see it, no need to advertise it.
So I'm off to the store and then a hot tub...
Time to Laugh!
It was Palm Sunday, and the family's 6-year old son had to stay home from church because of strep throat. When the rest of the family returned home carrying palm branches, the little boy asked what they were for. His mother explained, "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by."
"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go to church, and Jesus shows up!"
No comments:
Post a Comment